Does Social Class Matter When it Comes to Dating?

Dating, we all do it right, but some of us approach it differently than others. For some of us, compatibility has everything to do with honouring each other’s love languages, whether it be words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time or physical touch. For others, social class is the end-all-be-all in choosing the “right” mate. Whichever side you’re on, it’s important to dissect the topic of does social class matter when it comes to dating, as I’m going to guide you on that journey today.

What is social class?

Before we go on to dissect whether social class matters or doesn’t matter when it comes to dating, it is important for us to define what social class actually is. According to Britannica, social class is defined as “a group of people within a society who possess the same socioeconomic status.” For the purposes of this article, we can basically break down socioeconomic status into three categories: the poor, the middle class and the rich.

Why is it important to define your relationship goals?

Whatever your motive is for dating, it should be defined clearly for the person you’re taking an interest in. Do you want a booty-call, or do you want a stable, long-term, full-blown relationship? If you’re just looking for a hook-up, social class may not matter as much because physical appearances could be the priority. If a relationship is what you are seeking, it gets a little more complicated. So, the individual needs to know their objectives.

Why do family background and values matter so much?

Many factors are involved in choosing the right partner, and family background and values are at the top of the totem pole. Let’s use education as an example. Miranda Larbi wrote an article in 2017 for that dives into the question of why class still matters when it comes to dating, and one of the example couples mentioned were Rosie and Sean (last names unknown).

According to Rosie’s memory of her relationship with Sean, class “only became apparent when we discussed if we were to have children. I said if I had the opportunity, I’d send my kids to a private school like I was,” and Sean said that he wouldn’t “out of principle,” even if he could afford to. It all came down to Rosie and Sean having different upbringings and those taking a toll on the relationship and each other’s goals.

Another factor when it comes to marriage, family and social class in some cultures is where you are from. For example, in South Asian, and African cultures if you’re from a particular village, or have a specific surname, family members can disapprove of the relationship because they view the individual as inferior or beneath them. In the UK this could be looked at as being chavvy or having habits that are frowned upon or considered working class.

Physical appearance


Physical appearance and social class can also be closely related. In some cultures, if someone is of a darker complexion this can also be looked at as lower class. This has been going on i presume since the beginning of time and is prevalent in the Black & South Asian communities, and it is known as colourism. For example, someone who lives in North India is considered high value, and someone from South India is considered to be a lower class because they are darker, it’s the same in Brazil, Africa and worldwide.

I recently watched Vikings, this is a series on Amazon Prime which is a historical drama about a Scandinavian King called Ragnar and his adventures in different kingdoms. Without spoiling the story for you, a King’s daughter was arranged to be married to an unattractive older man. However, this man was a man of influence, and this marriage was arranged to benefit the family. The Kings wife disapproved of the marriage because she saw the man of influence as unattractive, and certainly so did the daughter. This is a perfect example of hypergamy & social classism on the Kings behalf because he wants his daughter to marry into a castle as high or higher than his own.

The above concept also works in reverse and in different ways. For example, if the woman was a physically unattractive person, and were wealthy or considered to be from a high-value family, the man’s kinfolk may approve of marriage just for social clout.


It is common practice for individuals, men and women to think about what type of person their children would grow up to be like when they are dating. This all stems from family values and what kind of habits are hereditary. The family of the person they are considering a long-term relationship with could be criminals or academic people, smokers, drug abusers, healthy living people or gamblers, ether way whatever end of the scale it’s natural to think of what their children’s future likes, dislikes and habits could be. This is where social classism comes into it.

Can your mindset be a higher social class, even if your financial wealth is low value?

I absolutely think one’s mindset can be a higher social class, even if their financial wealth is lacking. The rags-to-riches stories of people getting out of the ‘hood and going on to make millions shows us exactly that. If someone doesn’t have a higher social class mindset, they likely wouldn’t push themselves in the job realm, believing that they are meant to be stuck where they are. If they do have a higher social class mindset, the sky is truly the limit.

The above paragraph is the essence of a high-value person, it’s all about mindset. High value is not just about monetary wealth. Monetary wealth is the result of a high-value character and personality. These characteristics are created by positive habits and a disciplined attitude. These traits are found in both men and women and are parallel to social class.

What are females looking for in a man?

In a 2018 Kama TV video, as seen below, random women on the street were asked the very question of whether social class matters when it comes to dating.

Although many said it does matter, a majority of responses were the opposite, showing that personality, values and stability of lifestyle matter more.

One of the females mentioned, whose name remained anonymous in the video, said that “opposites definitely attract,” and that “there’s no other way to learn other than branching out and getting outside of your comfort zone. “Other women mentioned it all being about the personality of a man and how nice, ambitious and hardworking they are”.

The average female is looking for security. Especially when they get to their mid-20s and they realise their worth in the world. Influencer and dating coach Kevin Samuels made a statement along the lines of “If a woman wants a high-value man, it is easier for her to achieve this when she is younger and dating a man who is in the development stage of his career”. Examples such as Melinda & Bill Gates and Barack & Michelle Obama were mentioned. “It’s easier for her to Invest in a man with potential, rather than waiting till she is older to find a man who has achieved success”. Looks are also important to women nobody wants a Shrek, however, being a high-value man can balance that out. Does Social Class Matter When it Comes to Dating all depends on the woman’s long- or short-term objectives, family background and culture as explained earlier, regardless of being a high-value woman or not.

What are men looking for in a woman?

Modern high-value men are generally simple creatures, but age does play a part in what is wanted by them. The older successful men if single, tend to go for younger attractive women. This is shallow, but generally the way of the world. The social class and ambition of the woman matter but is not always a vital aspect depending yet again on the man’s long- or short-term objectives, family background and culture. Older men are also more willing to settle down. The modern younger high-value man tends to not want to settle down but would rather play the field and explore his options.

The average man (women take notes) want women who are fit & healthy, feminine, cooperative, sexually submissive, good looking and have female feminine energy plus all the usual aspects that keep things interesting, such as sexual expression, chemistry and good communication. Please bear in mind the word submissive doesn’t mean men don’t want women who can think for themselves, and some men love a woman who can take control in the bedroom too.


Many high-value modern women and feminists would argue things have changed over the years. Many women are the breadwinners of the household and are therefore more likely not to be as cooperative to their men because they have the money to make most of the key financial decisions which dictate what the family or couple can and cannot do in the relationship. For example, when she earns £100k per year, and he earns £50k per year and the conversation comes up about how many holidays they are going to go on this year, who wears the trousers? However, this does not change the fact that men want a cooperative woman. So, don’t shoot the messenger.

Does social class matter when it comes to dating?

It all boils down to this. Know your relationship goals. Be decisive and honest with yourself about what you want. Hypergamy is real and in full effect. Poor, middle-class or rich, one’s class does not matter as much when dating for short term fulfilment, however, for long term relationships, social classism does play a major role.

The most important factors include personality, chemistry and compatibility, ambitions and values. No matter how wealthy someone is, if they’re a class-A jerk, perspective partners will stay as far away from them as possible. And as far as Boxes of Fun is concerned, if you’re a freak in the sheets then you’re a freak in the sheets, no matter what your socioeconomic status is everybody could try a good sex toy and spice up their sex lives.

Comment (1)

  • Egor Reply

    I reckon social class is a problem when it comes to dating. This article has made some pucker points. For me it matters If I want kids. She gotta have a decent background.

    April 3, 2021 at 8:31 pm

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