Our Guide To Handling Your Break Up In Style!S.K
Handling your break up in style!
Truth be told, handling a break up is not easy, leave alone doing it in style. This guide caters for both the girls and the guys, and while it largely depends on how long the two of you have been together, the most important factor and one that will help in handling your break up in style are loving yourself and putting your happiness first. Staying in a toxic relationship does you no good, but instead, it drains your energy and can also create unhealthy situations. You don’t want that. Do you?
So, focus on the red flags that might be signalling the beginning of the end of the relationship if not the definite end. Some of the common warning signs include:
- Failure to communicate.
- Loss of excitement.
- Sex is no longer fun.
- Constant fights.
- Not spending time together.
A consistent occurrence of any 2-3 of the above red flags should warrant moving on. And while moving on sounds so easy on paper, there’s more than what meets the eye. So, we will look into some of the tips that will help in handling your break up in style.
This goes without saying, your partner must be your best friend if the relationship is to last after the night. This means that once you have broken up, the friendship naturally ceases or decreases from that point. And in as much as we wouldn’t advise you to hate your ex, it is best to avoid contact, especially during a time that you need peace. This can be achieved by blocking them from your social media channels, or even deleting telephone numbers, to restrict temptation or even being harassed. Speaking of social media.. don’t be posting events of your relationship there, as it will only be embarrassing later on down the line. Create a breakup box, and put all the gifts & pictures there and don’t look back, having the right environment will make things easier to move on.
It all depends on how you break up too. If you break up on good terms, like for example, you both come to an amicable split because of some unfortunate circumstance like being at different stages in life, then friendship may still be on the table to some extent. However, if you break up on bad terms offering friendship to your ex-lover will not only make things somewhat strange, especially if you are working together, but it will also increase the chances of you getting back to a situation that you once vowed never to do.
In some cases when children are involved, you will have to see your ex, such as on school parent evenings or even on the children’s birthdays. This can be a difficult situation to deal with however you must both put your feelings aside for the sake of your little one’s mental health and emotional wellbeing.
Write or talk about it
Getting things off your chest is important. It brings you closure. Closure plus mentally and emotionally accepting the situation first will allow you to move on to the next stage of the process. Talk to the right people in your friendship or family circle, but remember not everybody you talk to will be unhappy or happy that your relationship has ended. Talking to these people must be avoided as they will cloud your judgement, not tell you the truth and will inevitably make matters worse. This is why you need to know who to lay your shoulder on in these situations. Once you are talking to the right people or person about this traumatic experience, they will be able to help you understand your situation better.
A wise man once said that ”looking at a situation from the outside-in will bring insight”. Insight is needed to bring understanding which then becomes acceptance. This communication can also be delivered in written form as it is easier to express your feelings because you have time to think about it. Time to think about how you feel is a valuable part of the healing process. The letter can then be shared with whoever you feel fit.
Avoid trash talking to your ex’s family or friends
Remember whatever relationship you have with them, they are primarily your ex’s friends first. Speaking loosely to them or criticising will create waves that will get back to your ex. It will also make you look less classy and bitter. Nobody likes a bitter soul.
Participate in things that make you feel fulfilled
Probably the best way to handle your break up in style is taking this time to explore and shine your passions, this will work out magic for you. Do you love swimming? Head out to the swimming pool and hit a few strokes. Doing things that impact purpose in your life, especially at such a time not only helps you see how much meaning your life has but it also helps you forget about your ex-lover, so stay busy. Remember there is a grieving period and your best friend now is (TIME), time is a massive healer in heartbreaking situations because as time passes by your heart will heal and you will move on. Some heartbreaks are mini ones and some are major ones. Whatever the case may be time is needed.
Revisit your lifestyle
While many people are faced with the urge to snack on junk food and lay on the couch all day long, revisiting your lifestyle commitments could prove to be an ideal way in handling your break up in style. Maintain a healthy diet as good food will make you feel better and more confident with your body. Go for whole foods and avoid caffeine, smoking, alcohol, refined foods, and too much salt. Likewise, maintain a regular exercise program. Some people do this to get revenge on their ex to show them what they are missing, however, boosting your physical and mental resilience by means of exercise should be your primary objective.
Get adequate sleep and practice positive affirmations
Sleep is very relevant, especially at a time when you are trying to get answers to hard life questions. Not only is sleep an ideal way of handling your break up in style, but it is also a great way to improve your productivity, especially at your workplace. According to doctors, you should get at least 8 hours of sleep in a day. Positive affirmations, on the other hand, are important and perfect in such a situation. Make it a habit of reminding yourself of how important your life is, put things into perspective and be grateful for what you have, it could always be worse.
Another ideal way of handling your break up in style is meditation. This mind-body connection allows you to take some time alone to reflect on what is going on. Some of the ideal ideas for meditation include tai chi, yoga, brisk walking, and resting. Take some time alone and reflect on your life; you will be amazed to learn of how much meaning your life has.
Beware of the rebound
Rebound relationships and flings are a quick way to depreciate your value and gain high mileage on the clock. Try to be tactful or avoid sleeping with others during the healing process of your last relationship as this can be harmful to yourself or who your laying with. It’s not fair to lead people on, so be open about your situation if you have to go down this road. Some people say to get over someone quickly, its best to find somebody else, however, if you are not good at making decisions with who you sleep with you will harm your heart further with this approach. Everybody has sexual needs so try sex toys as a means of satisfaction temporarily, and keep your dignity as rebound relationships are not for everyone so know yourself.
Be prepared for the call
Depending on how your relationship breaks down, you (WILL) get a phone call or a text message from your ex if you have not blocked them. You have to be prepared for this. It will be your last chance to get your message across and get everything off your chest. How this is done is important so talk to a friend about it. If you give them too much of your time you will lose power in the endgame process. You must keep your dignity by keeping things short, thinking quickly and getting straight to the point. Don’t get sucked back in by arranging to see them again, this will only complicate things and put you back to square one, be strong and hold your ground. You don’t want to be the topic of conversation with his or her friends about how weak you were to bend to their will. Keep your power as this is essential in handling your break up in style.
Accept to move on
Probably, the most important part of handling your break up in style is acceptance. Accepting that it happened is the genesis of your freedom from the confines of your past life. Walk through your new life without a fight and be open to learning new things. It can only get better.
To sum it up, no break up is sweet (if the relationship meant something of course). And in as much as it’s hard to move on, the trick lies in understanding how you split up. If it is on good terms or not. Block contact via social media and get rid of those memories with negative association attached to it such as photos and gifts.
Talking to the right people early to gain insight will help you in accepting the situation to move on to the next chapter in your life. Have faith in coping strategies such as positive ways to spend your time, the key is to stay busy and stay healthy by meditating. Avoid alcohol, drugs and gambling as the comedown effects are awful and you need to be in a positive spirit. Take it as it comes, be open to learning, and appreciate everything that comes your way in the future once your heart heals from it’s mini or major trauma.
Handling your break up in style means staying in control. Try to avoid rebound relationships as this may not be the best thing for a person like you. Know to yourself it may be only a matter of time before you hear from your ex again, so as the boy scouts say.. be prepared, make sure you say the right things, get everything off your chest quickly and get off the phone.
Remember, it will take time but you will ultimately find someone suitable for you. Try to flip your mindset, keep your standards but not be too choosy and bear in mind that it is not about what you want, but about what you don’t want in a relationship.